My fiancé wants plenty children

September 27, 2023

Dear Pastor,

I am 27 years old. My fiance and I have just started living together. We plan to be married in December.

We consider living together somewhat as a trial marriage. My boyfriend said that if we constantly argue over little things, it would not make sense for us to get married. I told him that what he is trying to do is to use me. He will enjoy my body and walk away from me, leaving me in the cold. He said that is not his desire.

This man says he wants a household of children. He comes from a large family; his father has 10 of them. He wants to walk in his father's footsteps. My parents had four of us. I do not intend to have more than five children. We are using protection, but we do not plan to use protection after we are married. I would love to get pregnant a couple of months after we are married. At my age, why should I wait?

When I was 18 years old I lost my virginity, and I cried for days. I am eager to get pregnant now, and so is my fiance. Except the fact that he and I differ on the amount of children we should have. Would you be able to give us some guidance?


Dear T.S.,

Well, I am not a medical doctor as you know, but I have been a counsellor for many years.

I can tell you that a woman can have up to 25 children without hurting herself in any way. Your husband said that he wants a 'household of children', and you interpret that to mean that he wants many children, so be prepared for the many. But if that is not your desire, let him know that that cannot work. If you don't have any abnormalities, you know you can become pregnant soon after both of you have stopped using protection. Of course, it is one thing for a man to talk about wanting a household of children, but it is another matter for him to support many children. A couple should have the number of children that they can adequately support.

I want to ask you this question: how much do you and your husband earn? If you are earning a 'bag' of money, so to speak, and you have a large house, have fun and have as many children as you may wish to have. But make sure that these children will never suffer because of your crazy belief and selfish attitude towards children.


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