I’m dating a teacher

Dear Pastor,

I am 17 years old, and I have been living with my aunt since age nine. She does not have any children. People who do not know that she is my aunt think that I am her daughter because I call her mommy. I can't blame my aunt for anything because I have my own room, and the only time I share my room is when we have other family members spending time with us for a short period. I don't even use my aunt's bathroom because the apartment has two bathrooms.

My aunt sent me to prep school. She dropped me off at school every morning and ensured that someone picked me up in the afternoons. My aim is to become a medical doctor, and I am working hard to see my dreams come true.

My aunt is very strict. She does not allow me to have my own way. She knows all my friends. I try not to hide things from her. Sometimes she asks to see my phone, and I have to go through it with her. However, she does not know that I have a second phone. I use it to communicate with my boyfriend. She has never seen that one. Sometimes I carry it in my underwear. It does not ring, it only vibrates. And when it vibrates, I go to the bathroom and answer it, or I let it ring and call back when I am able to do so.

My aunt is always talking to me about sex. She said that she had sex for the first time when she was 16 years old after being forced to do so by her boyfriend, who was older than she was. She said she hated her boyfriend for a time, but she later forgave him.

My aunt told me that her boyfriend had another woman and that they lived in the same house. At the time when my aunt was involved with him, she did not know this. He went to live in the United States of America (USA) and he sent money for her to attend evening classes. She was successful in her examinations and so she went to college. She was not interested in going to the USA, so he got married over there.

Sometimes I think that my aunt doesn't like men. She told me that she would send a man to prison if he hurt me. The guy who is my boyfriend is a school teacher, and he is very careful about our relationship, so nobody knows about us. He is not teaching at the same school I attend.

My aunt's ex-boyfriend has invited her to spend a weekend with him in July. She told him that she would not come unless I was going with her. Sometimes my aunt treats me like a child, but she does not ill-treat me. I would like to leave my aunt when I am 18, and I would also like to get married. The only thing I would need is money.

S

Dear S.,

You are a very fortunate young woman. Your aunt has been very good to you. She has set good examples for you. I suppose that you feel that you should have your own way from time to time. Not many girls your age could have their own room. Many girls have to sleep on the same bed with their sisters and even their brothers. So you should be very thankful to your aunt and for the good life you are enjoying. Continue to be respectful to your aunt.

You have not said anything about your parents, but I hope that you will visit them from time to time. When you become a doctor, give them as much financial support as you can.

Your aunt is an intelligent woman, and at her age, she knows how to protect herself. I doubt she will allow herself to get involved with her ex-boyfriend. You must constantly talk to her about your desire to become a medical doctor. Whether you study in the USA, Jamaica, or Cuba, I am sure that your goal can be realised.

I wish you well.

Pastor