Cheating on my husband for money

Dear Pastor,

I am having a problem in my marriage. My husband suspected that I have been cheating on him. He has never caught me cheating.

But I have to tell you the truth; I have done so a few times because I was in need. But I had to deny that I cheated. One day my husband came home early and as he entered the house, he said that the house did not smell fresh. He went into the bathroom, saw my underwear, and asked how come my underwear was not in the basket. I told him that I had just taken a shower and I forgot to put it in the basket. I started to tremble and he asked me why I was so nervous. I told him that I wasn't.

I fixed him his dinner and went back into the room and changed the sheets from the bed, because the man and I had sex on those sheets. I tried to hug and kiss my husband, but he refused to let me do so. I could not sleep all night because I was so nervous. My husband left for work, but I could not go to work that day. He came home early again and he told me that he was home because he knew that I had been entertaining a man in his house, and if I was keeping this man with him, he wa going to find out. My husband likes to have sex, but these days I have to beg him to give me a little. It has been four months now and we have not had sex, even though we are sleeping on the same bed. He is still giving me money, but not much. I have to rely on my side man to help me to pay my partner. My husband is the one who has caused me to cheat.

Initial Withheld

Dear Writer,

You should not have entertained another man in your husband's house. That was wrong. If you found that it was difficult to live with what you were getting, you should have discussed that with your husband. He ought to be told that the few dollars you are getting could not stretch to pay all the bills. So your own carelessness has given you away. Nobody told your husband that another wan was visiting your house while he was at work or somewhere else. But he could smell it, and while he was eating his dinner, you were in the room changing the sheets on the bed. Perhaps you thought that he was not observing that. You gave away yourself.

You said that you have been having sex with this other man, but you have not stopped. It is just a matter of time before your husband ends the relationship with you. Your marriage is going to go down. This man will not marry you if he is not married already, because he is always going to remember that you cheated with him, and he is always going to say he doesn't trust you. So I beg you, clean up your act. Sit with your husband and make a budget, or discuss how both of you can bring in more money so that all the bills can be paid.

Pastor