Teaching my loving 31-y-o boyfriend how to read

Dear Pastor,

I am a 20-year-old woman and I have one child by a man who says he loves me, wants us to get married in a few years, and have two more children.

I did not plan to have any children as yet because I wanted to become a nurse and go to America to work and assist my parents. But I got involved with this man because of needs. When I met him, I was really down, so he started to give me everything that I needed. I couldn't say no to him because that would have meant that I would have to find another man and the men who I had been with only took me to bed. Sometimes I had sex even when I was hungry. One guy asked me how I was talking about hunger and I had not even pulled down my underwear. So I gave it to him and when he was finished, he only gave me $2,000. I asked him what that could do and he said that's all he had. I bought two patties and a drink and I went home.

This man I am with now is 31. He has another child with a woman who is younger than I am. She is short and he said he likes girls who are tall, so I have something over her. Since I had the baby, I went to live with him and he takes very good care of both of us. He drives for a company and they allow him to keep the vehicle, so he takes me around and I can visit my parents. I am not getting big money from him, but it is the most money I have ever had from a man. Every week he gives me at least $12,000 or $13,000 and he helps me with the baby.

He told his boss about me and his boss told him that he should try to take good care of me. He took me to see the boss and the boss' wife was there and they spoke well off him. Now he wants his boss' wife to be the child's godmother. I am sure you are going to be surprised to hear that this man can hardly read. I have had to be teaching him to read. But I have grown to love him. Looking at him, you will never know that he is semi-illiterate. He said his friends ask him how he got a girl like me, and he told them that he is humble and his grandmother told him that "humble calf sucks the most milk." Whatever he sees on the road and he has money, he buys.

We are not living in a very nice neighbourhood, but his boss is encouraging us to stay until we are able to move to a better place. In the new year, he is going to raise his pay and then he would have enough to send me back to school. I am anxious to go into nursing. It is always my desire to help sick people.

P.T.

Dear P.T

Focus on your goal and do not be careless and become pregnant again. I am glad that you are able to help your boyfriend. He must be very humble indeed to be allowing you to teach him.

I am not here to say that you should have been having sex for money, but I can imagine how desperate you were when you had to resort to selling sex to try to support yourself.

A man would have to be extremely wicked to have sex with a woman who told him she was hungry and insisted that he had to do the act before giving her some money. What can $2,000 do? He ought to have known better, but you were desperate so you took the money.

Now you are with a man who brings home his weekly envelope to you. He is treating you like a lady. He can't lavish a lot of money on you because he is not earning a big salary, but as a wise young lady, you can take whatever he gives you and make it serve you and take good care of him, the baby and yourself.

This man seems to have a good boss, and the boss and his wife are happy that he has found a good woman. She has become godmother of the baby and she will help you in time of need. Go back to school, my dear, and be true to this man.

Pastor