Husband’s dream convinced him that I was cheating

Dear Pastor,

I am writing to you about my story. It is so long that I know that you would not have space to print all of it. I am in my mid-30s. I have only one child and she is living with my sister. My sister does not have children.

My husband and I were getting along very well until he started to accuse me of having other men with him. I told him that was nonsense. He said anything he dreamt about was true and he dreamt that he saw me with one of his friends in bed. I thought my husband was an intelligent man. He insisted that that is what he saw in a dream and that he told one of his co-workers about it and they took him to a 'science man', and the science man confirmed that I had other men with my husband.

I have never cheated on my husband. He said that I was the one who turned him into a cheater. Now he is having sex with an Indian woman. I still like my husband. He has left the matrimonial home and is living with this woman. I do not know what to do. When it comes to the bedroom, I did everything my husband asked me to do. I asked him to go with me for counselling and he refused.

I have a green card and I told him that we should leave Jamaica and go to America and start our lives all over. He said whether we live in Jamaica or America, I would still cheat. Do you think that it is time for me to divorce this man? It is not easy to be called a cheater every day and I know that what he is saying is not true.

Tell me what to do, dear Pastor. I need your help.

R.D.

Dear R.D.,

Your husband is not going to let go off his dreams. You know that he is talking nonsense. But some people would rather believe in dreams than to accept the truth.

I once counselled a man and he told me that his wife was unfaithful to him. When I asked him how he knew that she was unfaithful to him, he said she was in bed and he heard her dreaming about it and talking loudly. No one could tell him that she did not engage in oral sex with her lover. After talking to this man for a while, I was convinced that I was talking to, and you may excuse my language, an idiot. He was very unhappy with me for not believing him.

Now I cannot say that this man's wife was not unfaithful to him, but he did not have solid facts. He said he heard her confession about oral sex with another man and the confession was during her dream. My goodness, the crazy things some men believe! This man and his wife broke up because he couldn't get this crazy matter out of his mind that his wife was a cheater.

Perhaps you should indeed talk to a lawyer and make plans to move on with your life.

Pastor