Girlfriend cheating because I’m soft

Dear Pastor,

I am a 60-year-old man and I am the father of three children. I am experiencing some problems now that I never used to have. My erection is not very strong any more.

My girlfriend is planning to leave me. When we have sex, she tells me I have got soft. Because of that, I suspect that she is going with other men.

I know she is having relationships with other men because when she should be at home, she is not. Sometime she comes home and gets a shower and she is gone. She is always using her mother as an excuse. Whenever I call her mother, she said that she hasn't seen her. Sometimes she says "it's a whole week I haven't seen her". I have talked to my girlfriend about her behaviour and she said I should stop watching her, as she is a big woman. She goes wherever she wants to go and nobody can stop her.

When I look back into my life, I cry because I have given this woman everything. I bought a house and put her name on the title. When I met her, she was pregnant and I assumed the responsibility for the child. People used to tell me that she is unfaithful to me, but I didn't pay it much attention. She always denied that she was unfaithful. I loved her so much that I used to say that the only time I would believe that she is unfaithful is when I see the man making love to her.

One day I talked to my father about what I heard she was doing and he said, "Son, I don't want to bury you; you should attend my funeral, and not the other way around."

I want this woman out of my life. I can't stand the situation any more. I can't talk to her. The moment I start to talk to her, she raises her voice and she threatens me. There are times I feel so sorry for myself, but I am still going on.

What is the best advice you can give me?

L.

Dear L.,

This woman does not want you, and it is a pity that you have put her name on your property. You need to see a lawyer and explain the whole situation, and see what can be done to resolve the matter with the property.

I don't want to say anything more on that because I am not a lawyer, and I am not qualified to give legal advice. But you have good reasons to believe that your girlfriend is a unfaithful and she has lost respect for you.

Of course, I could advise you to go and see an urologist, but even if you were to get help from him so that you can get a firm erection, if this woman doesn't want you in her life, both of you would not enjoy each other. I know for sure that you are making a big mistake by fretting over her. If she is being unfaithful, it would take a miracle to turn her around, so to speak.

Having said the above, let me add this quickly: I am assuming that this woman is much younger than you and she must had really excited you years ago, but you no longer excite her. I hate to tell you this, but I will. You may have to take your beatings and move on. Go to the doctor, yes, but talk also to a lawyer. I wish you well.

Pastor