Pregnant after a weekend fling

May 27, 2022

Dear Pastor,

I am 21 and I am living with my brother and my sister. I met a man recently in the country. He told me that he was looking for a wife. He asked me if I had a boyfriend.

I told him that I would not call the guy my boyfriend because we were just getting to know each other. We exchanged numbers and we started to correspond.

When we got to know each other better, he told me that he wanted me to meet with his family, so we planned to meet. Then he suggested that I should come to Kingston and spend a weekend with him. I told him that I did not know Kingston, but we arranged to meet. When I got to Kingston that Friday evening, he begged me to stay over. I told him no and he said nothing would happen. The place was tidy. I was glad to meet his two sisters and I helped the older one to cook dinner.

He went away to do some delivery, so I questioned the sister about him. She said that her brother knew how to take care of a woman. I went to sleep with him that night, but I was not very comfortable. I was fussing. I did not even have a nightie to sleep in. He gave me one of his shirts. I told him that I didn't like to sleep in a strange bed. We talked for a long time until I didn't know what happened. He got me in the mood for sex and after that I fell asleep.

The following morning, he got up and made breakfast for me. I told him that I had to leave. His sisters told me that I didn't need to run away because nobody was going to come to the house to look for him. I was with this man until Sunday. Meanwhile, my boyfriend in the country was calling everybody looking for me. This man gave me $8,000 to take transportation to go home and told me that I should come back to see him soon.

I am now pregnant and I know that this man got me pregnant. Now, he is saying that the child cannot be his because he used condoms. Pastor, the first night we had sex, he did not use a condom. But he used condoms on Saturday night and early Sunday morning. I am so worried because my other guy suspected that I was with a man and I told him that I was with friends.

I like the guy from Kingston, but he does not believe that he got me pregnant and I do not know what to do. So please help me.


Dear M.L.,

I can't help you. I can only encourage you to speak the truth. This man told you that he was looking for a wife. That is one of the things men say all the time.

Many times they are speaking the truth. Men are always seeking women and women are always seeking men. Men go to church seeking women and women go there seeking men. Women go to parties and dress to seek men. They dress skimpily as they know men love to look at skin. Women stand before the mirror and learn to do the dirtiest dance because they know men like to see women dance.

Some years ago, I was passing through my neighbour's backyard and there was a group of girls in their underwear teaching each other how to do the go-go dance. I passed without giving them the impression that I saw them. So, this man convinced you to spend the entire weekend and evidently he forgot to put on his condom on that first night. But by the Saturday, he came to himself and he knew he could be in trouble. Before you left the Sunday, he tried to protect himself.

Life is so funny. Whether he got you pregnant or not, a DNA test can reveal that. If this man loves you, I hope he will marry you. I can only wish both of you well.


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