My man is such a fool

November 10, 2021

Dear Pastor,

I a 22 years old and I have a boyfriend who is 24. He is very jealous of me. I can't talk to any man and let him see. He is always threatening to beat me. He acts like a fool. I told him that if I wanted to cheat, he couldn't stop me because he can't watch me 24/7.

Pastor, one day we were having sex and when he discharged, he said to me, "I know you are behaving yourself, you are not cheating." I asked him how he knew that and he said he felt it. I said to myself, this man is such a fool. But, I am not doing anything out of the way. He takes care of me. I told him that I would leave him if he tried to physically abuse me. He has threatened me but he has not laid hands on me.

My father used to beat my mother and they would always make up. I remember telling my mother that she should leave my father, but she never did. The love they have for each other grows stronger and stronger.

While my boyfriend is always warning me about cheating, he is a big cheater. Once I suspected that he was having sex with one of my cousins but he denied it. I want to go back to school but he is not helping me. I have joined with my mother to do a little buying and selling. But everything is so slow. How could I get my boyfriend to stop accusing me of cheating?


Dear H.,

No woman should stay with a man who physically abuses her. Your boyfriend is always threatening you because he believes that you are cheating. I remember handling a case where a man was constantly accusing his fiancee of cheating. He said that she was having an affair with a man who was living on the same premises. She was not guilty of cheating, so he told the tenant that whenever his fiancee was around and he saw her, he should not even say hello to her. After he told her that her fiance believed that they were having an affair, this man asked her "So what do you say?" And she said "What you mean what I say? I told you not even look at me when he is around". After that she said that the tenant never stopped begging her for sex. One day she said to herself, 'well, if my fiance is accusing me for something I have never done, I am getting the blame for something I haven't done, I might as well do it'.

So, one morning after her fiance left for work, her tenant was around and she decided that she would have sex with him. So, they went to bed and as soon as they were finished having sex and she went to the bathroom, her fiance returned home. He almost caught them having sex. She was not prepared to take the blame any more and not play the game.

Don't yield to the temptation to cheat although your man is accusing you of doing so. I could say more about men who foolishly think that they would know whether their girlfriends/wives are cheating by having sex with them. But perhaps another time I will deal with that matter. That is all I have to say at this moment.


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