Ex-boyfriend going crazy over me

June 09, 2021

Dear Pastor,

I am 30 years old and I have been reading your column from I was in high school. I introduced your column to my friends. When I met my now ex-boyfriend, I showed him your column and he was aware of it, but he didn't always agree with your answers. He worked at a hotel and before COVID, I used to go down and spend time with him on weekends. Then he was laid off, and was looking for a job.

My brother, who is in the construction sector, helped him and he had to learn how to mix concrete; but every day he complained that the work was too hard. One day he told me that he was going back to the country. I did not know that he had a girlfriend down there and when he left to come to Kingston, he left her pregnant. He is now living with her, but he wants me to forgive him because he is not sure that the child is his. He also said that this girl cannot walk in my shoes.

My brother told me not to take him back, and that he would not work with him again because he had no manners. He also said that he was ungrateful. He left the job without telling my brother that he was leaving.

In the meantime, Pastor, I have moved on with another man who is 10 years older than I am. He has two taxis on the road, so he always has money to take care of the bills. I don't have children, but the man I am living with has four of them and he is divorced. He had the children with two different babymothers, but the children do not live with us. I would love to have a child. I have never used birth control. I have been fortunate not to catch a disease. Looking back now, I wouldn't want to have a child for my ex-boyfriend.

I don't intend to have him back in my life. I am very comfortable with my present boyfriend. When he comes home I make him feel comfortable in his house, and after he has his dinner and his bath, I lotion him. I know he doesn't have another woman. My best friend told me that I should not swear about that because I should never trust a man, but I trust my boyfriend.

S.

Dear S.,

I hope that the man who you are now living with will continue to treat you right, and I also hope that you will be true to him. The young man who worked at the hotel lied to you, cheated on you, and now that he has come to realise that he made a mistake, he wants to come back to you. He is a very silly fellow. Let him stay with the girl and his child.

Concerning this older man with whom you are having a relationship, I hope that he is earning enough to take care of his children and to make you happy. The truth is, you shouldn't be satisfied to just live with him. If both of you genuinely love each other, then you should get married. Make sure you show love to his children and be faithful to him.

Pastor

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