Wife refuses to have more children

August 14, 2020

Dear Pastor,

My wife and I have been married for five years and we have two children; one boy and one girl. I would like to have two more children, but my wife is not interested.

I come from a large family. I like it when my brothers and sisters meet and we cook the big pots of food and everybody enjoys themselves.

My wife is very reserved and some people think that she is proud, but she is not. We have a wonderful relationship.

We are able to pay a helper, so my wife does not wash, cook and clean and so on; and when my mother is with us, we don't allow her to do these things, but my mother cannot keep still.

She wants to assist the helper in the kitchen. One day she told my wife that it seems as if we scorn her because we don't want her to even cook.

Pastor, it is not so; we just want her to rest. She has done enough for us, and we can afford to pay others to clean the house and to help us with the children.

My wife would go out of her way to see that my mother is comfortable. Now, Pastor, what can I do to convince my wife that we should have another child? One boy child is not enough. Suppose something should happen to him? I don't think I would be able to live with myself. My wife is only 27, and I am 30 years old.

I am tired of using the condom; remember, we are married. But she makes sure we have a supply of condoms, and I hate it. Give me your advice, please.


Dear M.D.,

If you want to continue to have a happy home and live harmoniously with your loving wife, cooperate with her.

I understand that you come from a very large family and you have great fun when you have family gatherings, but your wife does not want any more children.

Perhaps she may change her mind later on, but two is enough for the time being. You talk about having only one son, and you wonder how it would be if something should happen to him.

I want to remind you that you cannot replace a child, whether a boy or girl, so don't use that as an excuse for wanting another child.

Concerning your mother, I am glad that you are in a position to allow her to spend time at your house and that you treat her royally.

She is not accustomed to being waited on; she wants to continue to do everything for herself, even when she is with you.

Your wife should allow her to sometimes tidy the children and even wash the dishes. And whatever your mother does, thank her and let her know that you appreciate her.

You know that your wife is not proud, so if anybody says she is proud or selfish, ignore them.


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