Scared to marry a former prostitute

March 27, 2020

Dear Pastor,

I am a 33-year-old man. Ten years ago I became friendly with an 18-year-old girl.

I met her on the street. When I asked her why she was on the street, she told me she that was 'catching men'. She did not dress like the other 'working girls'.

I gave her $2,000 that night and we just talked in my car. When I told her I was ready to have sex, she asked me why we couldn't just talk and not have sex.

When she asked me that, my heart broke. I told her that we shouldn't bother to have sex, but she should go home. She told me that I should pass by again to see her at the same spot.

I did, and this time she said she would like to come home with me. I told her that I had a babymother, but I didn't. I gave her $500 that night, and this time I had sex with her.

I gave her my cell number and told her she could call me. She called me three times in one day. I told her she could meet me at Mandela Park.

When I went there, she had a bag in her hand, and she told me she did not want to go back to where she was staying. I took her to my home.

She stayed in the house for two days and did not come out. I found out that one of her customers was living in the same yard and she had recognised him, so she was afraid to move around.

When I realised that the guy knew her, I didn't want her to stay. But she told to me that it was 'just business' between them.

So I put that behind me. I told myself I could never marry her. I helped her to go back to school, and now she has four passes and she is a cosmetologist.

Here is my problem, Pastor. We are living in a better place and her friends always want to come and stay with us. But these girls are not good girls. She can't see that.

She is working with a woman who runs the parlour. She wants to go on her own. I would have to borrow the money to help her, but I am afraid of doing so because although we are living together, I can't make her my wife.

To me, I would be marrying a prostitute. She does everything for me. Sometimes I wonder if she has ever gone back on the road.

When we go out, I wonder if men see her and laugh at me, just like what the guy did when I took her to where I previously lived.

It is bothering me because it is time for me to get married and have children. Please, tell me what to do.


Dear L.G.,

Let us reason a little. You met this young woman when she was 18 and both of you have been together for 10 years. She cleaned up her act, so to speak, after meeting you.

You could have broken up with her, but instead, you found another place and both of you moved in together.

You don't have any proof that this woman has cheated on you. Another thing that is bothering you is that you are getting older and you would like to have children and you would like to get married.

You see this young woman as a stumbling block because she was a prostitute. You feel people will laugh at you for marrying her.

But let's face it, 10 years have passed. This girl cannot change her past. You would have to admit that what is really bothering you is pride, and nothing more.

It is all in your mind that when men see both of you, they laugh at you. Her friends are happy to visit her because they see her as someone who has done very well.

You have to take credit for that because you have taken her off the street and cleaned her up, so to speak.

If you know, however, that you will never marry her because of her past, you should tell her.

But please bear in mind that you may never get another woman who would be as loyal and thankful to you. I will say no more.


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