Spouse won’t stop cheating
I am a regular reader of your column and I must commend you on the wonderful work you are doing. I am 30 and I am in a 10-year relationship.
My spouse is a wonderful man but he won't stop cheating. Last year he asked me to marry him, only to learn that he cheated on me a few months after he proposed.
He ended up giving me an infection; that was how I found out, and even then he denied it.
After the last time he cheated, I couldn't bring myself to look at him or allow him to touch me. I feel disgusted by him. I hardly have sex with him because I don't trust him.
He said he has changed, but I doubt that very much. He hides his phone, and whenever he is around me he puts it on silent. I am not sure if I should stay in this relationship.
Apart from his cheating, he is a great person. He takes very good care of my daughter. He supports me in everything I do and he has never raised his hand at me.
I am just tired of the cheating, and he has not given me any sign that he will change. Please give me your advice. Thank you.
Dear Confused Fiance,
Unless this man is spiritually transformed, he is not going to stop going with other women. You know he loves you, but he loves other women, too.
It is not going to be easy for you to trust him, but he is not going to suddenly stop cheating. However, God is able to change anyone, and so you have to bring this matter to the Lord at all times.
I have said to other women that they should seek professional help and I will say the same to you. Call a family counsellor and make an appointment for both of you to meet with him or her and hope that your husband will cooperate.