Many men don’t care about love
I am a big fan of love. I love the romantic movies, I’m a big fan of love songs, and I really melt when I hear a good love poem. It seems I’m among the minority, because it seems that love is no longer on the menu in relationships.
I was a part of a conversation recently at a bar with a group of men – some I knew, some were new to me. The subject of love came up and it was interesting to hear how these esteemed gentlemen looked at this very important emotion. I was actually a little saddened by some of the opinions that I heard.
“I don’t care about love; I just want to know I can have sex and keep a comfortable home,” one man said.
“I just need fi know if shi can cook and keep di house clean.” This gentleman got all-around approval from most of the men at the table, and when I challenged him and asked about connection and chemistry, he quipped, “A wah dat?”
One gentleman said he loved his wife, but he does not see the need to tell her that because she’s supposed to know. When I asked how, he said, “I pay di bills every month, and she nuh hungry. Nuh love dat?”
I was really enlightened by this conversation because it’s clear that we don’t see it the same way. Personally, I think communicating feelings is a great bonding agent to successful relationships, but I do get where these men were coming from. They are in survival mode most of the times, working hard to take care of their families, and that’s how they show their love. I just don’t think it has to be one or the other. Both is an option as well.
After my conversation, I started to think about love languages and how important it is to find out what works in each individual relationship. The truth is, there is no blanket set of rules for everyone, that’s why communication is so important.
So figure out your love language and let your partner know what it is. Trust me, it will really help in the long run; and just humour me and say ‘I love you’ once in a while.